Communication, Conflict, and the Quality of Family Relationships

Conflict is one of the most (if not the most) studied and discussed subjects in the area of family communication. In fact, some authors suggest that conflict has been emphasized to an extent that it has eclipsed positive aspects of marital and family interaction (Bradbury, Rogge, & Lawrence, 2001; Roberts & Greenberg, in press). Why do scholars show so much interest in communication and family conflict? First, and perhaps obviously, many families face difficult struggles that are often quite volatile and troubling. Conflict theories emphasize that conflicts are ubiquitous and inherent 1989). These points are so familiar and thoroughly accepted that, in some respects, we may have over-dramatized the prominence of conflict in family life (Beach, 2001; Bradbury et al., 2001). Nonetheless, conflict represents the side of family interaction that family members themselves find difficult, unsettling, and perplexing. Research on communication in family conflict is further motivated by a practical interest in improving family relationships. Much of the research tries to isolate constructive and problematic aspects of communication, with the hope that communication processes may then be appropriately modeled, suppressed, or otherwise changed. Although communication patterns are not easily manipulated, more potential exists to control and change communication patterns than many other factors that contribute to family conflict, such as personality traits; basic differences in indiv idual values, goals, or expectations; social and economic conditions; and other structural factors. Finally, how individuals manage conflict affects their personal development. The process of managing interpersonal conflict helps children to learn about various rules that guide behavior, to take into account how other people think and feel, to monitor their own expression of thoughts and feelings, to adopt strategies for obtaining valued goals, and to learn about alternative 2 relational models (Dunn & Slomkowski, 1992; Laursen, 2001). Family interaction provides an important context for individual development during the management of conflict, insofar as families have the most conflict of all social groups (Shantz & Hobart, 1989). Thus, there is considerable interest in what children learn from family conflict, how they are impacted by exposure to negative conflict, and how relational models learned from family conflict may carry over into other relationships. In this chapter, we review communication processes in marital and family conflict, with the central focus being the influence that communication has on the quality of family relationships. Relationship quality, broadly conceived, constitutes the overriding concern of most research on family conflict. …